Could Be A Stink Over Road Plan

The Age

Thursday October 22, 1992

Bob Millington

UP in Seymour the locals have long been bemused by the stated intention of Mr Vic Roads to pop a service station/toot/fast food outlet/lolly stop at one particular spot on the Melbourne-bound side of the Hume Freeway, a bit south of the town.

It's not the right site, they have said repeatedly to Mr Roads. You are looking at a flood plain, they have said. You understand what that implies? they have asked.

Well, not exactly. Mr Roads went ahead and leased the paddock to Mobil. Nothing has been built yet, which is all to the good. Seymour people have been looking over the site this week and wondering how the petrol pumps, kitchens and workshop would have functioned under two-thirds of a metre of water.

Oh, and they wonder if the local council will now reconsider its decision to locate the new sewage pond nearby.

GOOD morning to our colleagues on the `Kilmore Free Press'. We thank them for the story about the election turn.

It concerns a lady who was either celebrating or sourly contemplating the future on that night three weeks ago. She lounged in a chair as the party rolled about her. A dog came up and gave her hand a sympathetic lick.

A couple of hours later the loss was noticed. Her engagement ring was now a diamondless engagement ring. How could that be? Of course! The hound!

A vet was consulted. His advice? Don't let the animal, well, deposit waste products outside the home, and be prepared for some nasty dissection.

What's that? Oh, it all passed very well, so to speak. Yes, there was a sparkling little surprise amid all the, um, dross.

GOOD idea, we suppose. The inner-city real estate agents Nelson & Alexander, accommodation for the gentry, have been using billboards on trucks to get their message across.

Bad idea, we suppose. One of their billboards was parked for several days outside the Carlton Cemetery, thus giving new mean ing to the idea of a ``pleasant little plot of ground".

THE system works. All is forgiven. That colleague whose passport went missing in the mail system last weekend (News Diary, Tuesday) in fact located the item with the help of Australia Post in a Sydney mail exchange on Tuesday afternoon.

The priority-paid certified-mail system had worked all right. The item had been sent to a travel agency's post office box and arrived on schedule on Monday morning. But the junior responsible for collecting the agency's mail had split Oz Post's efficiency asunder by ignoring the notification that a certified item was awaiting collection at the counter.

All references to bovine anatomy, therefore, are no longer operative. Don't you hate people who jump to conclusions?

TRAIN drivers on the Sandringham line have been hitting the intercom lately to tell passengers which station they are approaching and to apologise if the 8.11 has been a few minutes late. Passengers on one of yesterday morning's trains received even more service, with a whole range of public announcements from the front cabin.

As well as giving station information, the driver provided a gentle warning about the illegality of putting feet on seats, reminded passengers not to leave their briefcases, umbrellas and computers on the train and wished them a wonderful day as they disembarked at Flinders Street. Thanks driver. The only thing missing was a tip for the Cup.

THE new Minister for Finance, Mr Ian Smith, is to be seen behind the wheel of his ministerial car these days. It seems the driver allotted quickly packed it in when he heard the fate that awaited him. So far no one else has volunteered to drive Smithie. Gosh, he's not that bad.

NOT all ministers have taken to heart the words of their leader to share the pain of austerity with their fellow Victorians. Rumor has it that one of our new rulers and his advisers ``look like BHP executives" behind their $18,000 worth of new furniture. Taxes well spent, no doubt.

© 1992 The Age

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